In this candid interview with Indian Women Abroad, we speak to the incredible Kratika Agarwal, who moved to the Netherlands for a PhD, faced isolation, academic failure, and family pressure — but came out stronger, freer, and more herself than ever before.
Where are you from, and where did you move?
I grew up in Kanpur, a small town where everyone kind of knows everyone. In 2017, I packed my life into a few suitcases and moved to Enschede, an even smaller town in the east of the Netherlands. I still remember that first day: dragging my heavy luggage through deserted streets, no trolley in sight, everything closed, and not a single familiar face waiting for me.
Why did you move to the Netherlands, and what are you doing now?
I moved to pursue a PhD — a dream and a challenge. Now, I work as an HR professional in a multinational company, helping others find their place in a new world, just as I once tried to find mine.
What was your experience of moving and adjusting to a new culture like?
My journey was anything but smooth. That first night, I cried in a hotel room because I couldn’t get to my house. Everyone had gone home after 5 pm, and there was no one to help. My flight and train were both late. I felt utterly alone. There were so many moments when I wondered, “Why am I here?” and so many moments when I said “this is exactly why I am here”.
My PhD didn’t go as planned; my professor was a difficult one, and I ended up failing. I injured my leg (fracture) and felt like a failure. Family and relatives back home told me to return, get treated, get married. Some even tried to guilt-trip me and my dad. It was devastating.
- From Prayagraj to Singapore: How Shruti built a new life abroad
- Making history in San Francisco: The Indian woman behind South Asian-American Heritage Month
What are the biggest pros of moving? What lessons have you learned?
Sickness and the Dutch weather were constant challenges. But I learned: you adapt. I learned to overcome the food part. I had barely cooked before moving. But I learned. If I craved something, I learned how to cook it myself. I can proudly say today, after spending almost a decade here, that I can cook everything I love to eat!
In India, you’re surrounded by society, family, maids — there’s always someone to help. Here, you’re on your own. Once I accepted that it was me, myself, and I, I started to respect and love the strength I found in myself.
What were the biggest challenges you faced?
Besides the emotional toll of failure and isolation, the hardest part was building everything from scratch. You don’t have the safety net you grow up with in India. But it taught me self-sufficiency, resilience, and eventually gave me a sense of pride I’d never known.
Was it easy to adjust to a new environment? How did you find/build a social circle?
I built my social circle slowly. University friends, random conversations with Indian-looking strangers, joining a Buddhist group, and later, work and social events, these became my community. Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there and say hello.
In the context of Indian women back home, what do you prefer? Living abroad or living in India?
If you ask me where I’d rather live, here, any day. In India, there’s so much interference: marriage, kids, family opinions. Even in small things, like not being allowed to cook at my in-laws’ place because my mother-in-law insists on doing it herself, or says my father-in-law doesn’t like to eat what I planned to cook. Here, I have my independence. I’ll always visit India, but I don’t want to live there again.
Are there any new freedoms or experiences you’ve had that you probably didn’t have access to back home?
One of the biggest changes is how safe I feel. Back in India, I was physically, emotionally, and sexually attacked. Here, I feel free from those constant fears. I can walk alone and breathe easier.
Any advice for other Indian women abroad?
My biggest lesson? You are your own mother. Feed yourself, love yourself. Only when you care for yourself can you truly care for others. Don’t try to recreate India here — accept what you have, and what you don’t. Don’t compare. You’ll find yourself happier and more content than you could ever imagine.
To every Indian woman thinking about moving abroad: You will be fine. The journey is hard, but you are stronger than you know, and it’s worth a lifetime.
Leave a Reply